Believing is seeing | 3 easy steps to better communication

Odd reality about humans–we see what we believe. We are not the rational, objective creatures we like to think we are. According to the latest findings in neuroscience, all the information we receive is being filtered in an effort to complement our current belief system. If it doesn’t match our way of thinking, we either miss it altogether or force it into our preexisting box. The recent impeachment proceeding illustrates this beautifully.

Listen to Fox News for 30 minutes and then spend 30 minutes listening to CNN. You’ll see lots of smart, capable people coming to extremely different conclusions…about the same set of events. All parties are convinced they are right. And in their minds, they are. What an exercise in futility!

If this sort of “us vs. them” scenario sounds familiar within your leadership or organization, here are three easy steps to breakthrough the communication barriers:

Step 1. Stop vilifying others as bad, wrong or worse. How might the conversation go differently if you realize they simply have a different set of experiences influencing their point of view?

Step 2. Get to know them. Ask yourself what do we have in common? What can we do together that we cannot do alone?

Step 3. Share your perspectives without judgement and watch both parties’ beliefs change. Ask, how can we make the world a better place together? When the goal is shared purpose, you will be able to see new solutions because, believing is seeing.

Still don’t believe me? Give it a try and let me know the result. I’ve coached hundreds of clients on how to improve their leadership with empathy and better communication and I’d be glad to help you take the next step.