Touch Someone

Written by Randy Mayes

She was gone 15 minutes after I touched her. 

My mother recently passed away. Over the last five years, it had been a slow, steady decline. She laid in a nursing home bed, gripped by the ravages of dementia. She could no longer speak or communicate. Three weeks earlier, she had been placed on hospice, which meant the end was near. She had lived a long and full life. As I stood by her bed and stroked her hair, she passed on into eternity. A touch freed her from her living death. A touch helped her do what she could not do on her own.

He fell asleep 15 minutes after I touched him. 

I have been watching my six-month-old grandson one day a week. Like any young child, he struggles and fights sleep. But when his Papa picks him up, the fussing slowly wanes. He relaxes and soon falls asleep in my arms. A touch makes him feel safe, warm, and secure. A touch helps him do what he cannot do on his own.

The easy part of being a leader is the rational part. Like me, you are probably a good problem solver, and that’s a big part of why you are where you are today. However, your problem-solving ability will not make you an exceptional leader. Instead, it is your ability to connect with other humans and take them to places they would not or could not go on their own—through a human touch.

In my examples above, it was appropriate for me to touch my mother and grandson physically. But physical touch here is a metaphor for that deep emotional connection all humans need. Often, it has nothing to do with physical touch at all.

My challenge for you as a leader is to stop focusing on problem-solving and providing answers. Start focusing on connecting with the humans you are leading. Listen first to connect, then listen to understand.

As my partner Tyler Head says, “Humans are incredible.”

Who do you need to touch this week so they can be free to do what they could not do on their own?

Touch someone.