Lead From the Seat You’re In

Written by Charis Musick

We sat and listened. It seemed like the process was becoming more rigid than it was intended to be. The staff leader had designed the groups not for the purpose of checking boxes or rushing through a book chapter by chapter but to cultivate meaningful learning and growth together. If it took all year, great—because the goal was to practice and embody the lessons, not just complete the reading.

But let’s rewind a moment…

We’d been invited to meet with the staff leader about leading a group. He shared the book we’d be studying and his vision for the groups—to dive deep, engage beyond chapter lines, and prioritize transformation over completion. If a group focused only on staying on schedule, they were missing the point. We understood and were on board.

In that conversation, however, he also asked about where we were personally—how we were doing individually and as a couple, and what our community looked like. We were honest: community felt lacking, we were exhausted from a long-term transition, and we were financially stretched from a renovation project that exceeded our budget. Then, unexpectedly, he rescinded his offer:

“Ya know, I invited y’all to meet with me because when I think of people who embody the heart and vision of Hope—people who are loving and hospitable—I think of you guys. But I’d be a poor leader to ask you to step into a role that would require you to keep pouring out when you’re already depleted. Right now, you don’t need to lead a group—you need to be in one. You need to be surrounded by others when you’ve spent so much time caring for and serving others.”

I exhaled, and tears followed. Serving here is an easy yes—but sometimes, it’s a hard no. Yet to have a leader look at us and say, “I care more about your well-being than what you can do for this organization” was a shock to my system in the best way. I felt seen, valued, and, most of all, led well.

So, we agreed to join a group rather than lead one. And maybe we’ll step into leadership in the future—who knows?

Fast forward…

The book. The sound of innocent rigidity. The challenge of well-intended structure.

On the drive home, we talked about two things:

1. Clarity of Vision: Were these leaders fully aligned with the deeper vision, or had they received it differently than we did?
2. Leading from the Seat We’re In: Leadership isn’t always about taking formal roles—it’s about carrying the vision forward, wherever you are.

Sometimes, personal relationship affords you a different kind of clarity. We also weren’t in the room when the message was shared, so we don’t know exactly how the vision was communicated. It’s easy to assume rigidity, but that perception might shift once we fully engage with the material and the group.

What This Means for Leadership

In leadership, we often think of influence as coming from the top—the person who signs the checks, the one steering the ship, the one making the big calls. But true leadership is about impact, not position. It’s about carrying the vision, influencing culture, and making a difference from wherever you are.

For me, that means embracing the vision of deep engagement within my group—even if there’s pressure to “stay on schedule.” It means leaning into the discussion, making space for real conversations, and reminding others of the bigger picture when the temptation is to just check the box and move on.

For you, it might mean influencing your organization’s culture, even if you don’t hold the highest title. It might mean challenging a rigid mindset and championing a vision of real engagement. It might mean recognizing when others are running on empty and giving them permission to rest, just as our leader did for us.

You may not be the one driving the bus, but you are on it. And how you lead from your seat will shape the journey for everyone around you.

So, how are you leading from the seat you’re in?